Friday Fill-In

1. Moving is one of my least favorite things to do!

 2. The gift of a smile is free.

3. My best quality is my ability to read auras.

 4. Pay attention to the details of the beauty that surrounds you.

 5. In nearly 10 years, I have struggled with my health. 

6. A massage  is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to seeing Jehara and Pasta Man, tomorrow my plans include making jewelry and purses for my next show and Sunday, I want to sleep!

Friday Fill-Ins

1. If we had no winter there would be no snow, no leaves changing colors and no wonderfully crisp winter morning air.

 

 

 2. My dog Cosmo, Sis G, and my two beautiful nieces, a perpetual astonishment.

3. If I had my life to live over I would have accepted love that was offered to me at one time by a man when I was too caught up in my self hatred to realize was true!

4. I never get enough sleep inside of four and twenty hours.

5. If you’ve never been thrilled by the beauty of the sea, then I feel sad for you.

6. To be interested in the changing seasons Is to appreciate life and all it has to offer.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to getting settled in, tomorrow my plans include organizing organizing organizing and Sunday, I want to go to Jehara’swedding shower, I just haven’t found anyone to cover my ESL shifts on Sunday(I am still working on it)!

“Full of Grace”

I am not gong to make any promises or apologies.  I have not been keeping up with my blogging.  Just because I am not writing, does not mean that I am not reading.  I have been keeping up with my favorite blogs.  I think depression had a grasp on me again, and I felt absolutely no inclination to write anything, or do anything for that matter.  There is a Sarah Mclachlan song called “Full of Grace” that I feel is the best description of my depression. 

http://www.lyrics007.com/Sarah%20McLachlan%20Lyrics/Full%20of%20Grace%20Lyrics.html

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

________________________

For me, I think about how much I hate myself, especially when I start to fall down into the depths of depression.  Depression for me is like winter, cold and never-ending.  As I start to feel depressed it is like an undertow or a rip tide is pulling me under and under and under.   I do not feel at home anywhere, and yet I have been in this place before, so it is like home for me.  I don’t feel at home at all in my skin.  Sometimes I feel that I have spent too much time in it.  I know I should love myself more.  This song to me relates to the lack of love affair that I have with myself.

Thirteen Things I Have Tried To Help Me Sleep

Thirteen things I have tried to help me sleep.  1.  Warm Milk       2.  Chamomile Tea 3.  Reading a Dictionary 4.  Watching Spanish Television Especially TeleNovelas        5.  Relaxing Yoga Poses 6.  Watching QVC or HSN  (Home Shopping Channels for those of you that don’t know.  They can be addictive.) 7.  Watching Infomercials.  My favorite being the Jack Lalane Juicer.  Yes, I want one. 8.  Going through the alphabet and naming a city for each letter or a first name for each letter or a last name for each letter or a food item for each letter or or or….. 9.  Playing Eye-Spy in my bedroom. 10.  Using Aromatherapy 11.  Deep Breathing Exercises 12.  Relaxation Exercises – For example, starting at my toes and telling every part of my body to relax slowly, one at a time, and not moving on until that part has relaxed. 13.  I give up!  I take one of the marvels of modern medicine, and comfort myself by saying that the pill is made up of minerals just like my rocks and crystals are.   Goodnight!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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It is 4:51 and I Can’t Sleep….

Why can’t I sleep?  I need to sleep, I want to sleep, but it just won’t come.  My mind is racing with ideas and thoughts and stories and colors and people and animals and money and work and and and and and and and and and and and…………………………..

 

Stop

***************

I am trying to sleep w/o medication.  This is very hard.  I have tried warm milk, chamomile tea, aromatherapy to no avail. 

Okay I just need to stop the obsessing and get to sleep.  I think I will do one of the Goddess card meditations.  Wish me luck.  Before I do the meditation I think I will do a Thursday Thirteen.

Friday Fill-In

 

#109

And…here we go!

1. I’d really like to be sitting by the ocean under a palapa drinking poco locos right now.

2. AAAAAWWWW  Shit  is the word you’d most often hear me say if I stubbed my toe.

3. Possession is a word that describes a persons belongings.
 
4. I want to sail the seven seas with Captain Jack Sparrow.

5. Marshmallows and fire go together like __Shlama lama binky de binky bop
6. I am sick of politicians, they are all talk and no action!  I am tired of listening to them go on and on.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to Sleeping ,tomorrow my plans include  a Reiki Seminar and Sunday, I want to Have a very successful time at the fair!

Friday Fill-In

#107

And…here we go!

1. Enough with the _Economy____.

2. Working with refugees and immigrants causes me to be conflicted about immigration laws.

3. I’ve been craving the apple cheese sandwich (slices of granny smith apple, purple onions, Cheddar and Jarlsberg cheese on 9 grain bread)  from THE GREENSPOT.  The sandwich is made for them by Roost Catering.

4. My dog Cosmo makes me laugh.

5. I wish I could go to Cancun next week.

6. The future has been on my mind lately.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include making jewelry and getting ready for my show and Sunday, I want to do well at the show!

Thursday Thirteen – Things I Want To Do

Thirteen Things I want to do:   1.  I really want to go back to France.  I went there originally thinking that the people would be rude, and that I would not have a good time.  I went, just to go.  Well,…  I LOVED it!  It was my best trip ever!  I only spent one week there.  I want to go back!  2.  I want to find my “Soul Mate”.  I have not found him yet….  I still have hope….. 3.  I want to learn to cook.  4.  I want to go to Spain and travel around and eat like they do on the PBS show  “On the Road Again”!  If you have not seen this show, you should check it out.  It is fun, interesting, and it always makes me hungry!  Here is the link to the show’s website: http://spainontheroadagain.com/ 5.  I want to go to Argentina(where my father is from.) 6.  I want to be at peace with everyone in my biological family.  My older sister hates me.  I don’t really know why. 7.  I want to live near my best friend/younger sister and her family!  I miss her.  It hurts sometimes to not be able to spend time with her.  8.  I want to go to Tibet. 9.  I want to continue researching and studying world mythology and religion. 10.  I want to always be creating some kind of art. 11.  I want to live closer to the ocean. 12.  I want to continue teaching. 13.  I want to be happy!!!!!  Just one simple little wish…. to be happy.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Oya – Goddess of Change

This week – Oya, Goddess of Change.  I need to make changes!!!!

 

The Mythology

In Africa, Oya (pronounced oh-yah) is the Yoruban Goddess of weather, especially tornadoes, lightning, destructive rainstorms, fire, female leadership, persuasive charm, and transformation.  She is also one of the most powerful of Brazilian Macumba deities.  When women find themselves in hard-to-resolve conflicts, she is the one to call on for protection.   Wearing wine, her favorite color, and exhibiting nine whirlwinds (nine being her sacred number), she is depicted here with a turban twisted to appear like buffalo horns, for it is said she assumed the shape of a buffalo when wedded to Ogun.

 

The Lessons of this Goddess

 

Oyastorms into your life to tell you that change is calling, beckoning, and camping out on your doorstep.  The way to wholeness for you lies in embracing change.  Have you been too busy, too stressed, to attend to the changes needed in your life to nurture yourself?  Is change so fearful a concept that you push it aside, play hide-and seek with it, or just ignore it?  Have you arranged your life so perfectly that there is no room left for potential?  Time for change.  Time to sweep out, sweep up, and be swept away.  Resistance to change brings more persistent change.  Choosing to dance with change means you will flow with it.  Let yourself be unsettled, prepare yourself for growth.  Enter deeply into change’s chaotic dance and you’ll be richly blessed with abundant possibility.  It is time for something completely different.  The Goddess says that the earth must be dug up before anything can be planted and that change always brings you what you need on your path to wholeness.

Today… I am Teal

you are teal #008080

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You’re smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people’s conflicts well. Your saturation level is very high – you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn’t be afraid to lead people, because if you’re doing it, it’ll be done right. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

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