Thursday Thirteen - In Honor of Mother’s Day

Thirteen things I did not get from my mother.  1.  Protection - My mother did not protect me.  I was physically and sexually abused. 2.  Listen - My mother did not listen to me.  I told her about abuse that was happening, and she did nothing.  3.  Comfort - When I was hurt or sick, my mother never comforted me.  My mother would pull away from me when I tried to hug her.  4.  Honesty - My mother did not tell me the truth.  My mother was a compulsive liar.  She never told the truth, even when the truth would have been easier to tell. 5.  Knowledge - Knowledge of women stuff (hormones, sex, menstruation), you name it, my mother did not talk about it. 6.  Cooking - I always wanted to cook.  My mother never let me in the kitchen to try cooking.  7.  Possessions and food - My mother would not let me have what my siblings had, unless they had the chance to choose first.     8.  Support - My mother did not support me in anything that I did.  She did not go to plays, events, anything that had to do with me.  My mother is excellent at giving criticism.  I got lots of that. 9.  Religion - My mother practiced a warped version of Catholicism.  She tried to give me this one.  No thanks, I will pass on this one. 10.    Family - Because we lived in an abusive household, loyalty was expected, even if you were having the shit kicked out of you.  It was “the family” against the big bad world.  11.  House cleaning/ clutter - On the outside, our house looked very nice.  On the inside,  ohh baby, let me tell you, it was another story all together.  12.  Being true to yourself - Materialism, that in a word is what my mother was all about.  Labels, appearances, what other people think, being the best, being the richest, whatever, and if you were not you would lie about it.  My mother was all about keeping up appearances at all cost.  How you truly feel, and what you truly believe did not matter.  13.  Love - My mother did not teach me about love.  In fact, my mother often told me that she hated me and wished that I had never been born.  My mother blamed me for any and all problems in our family, and for problems she had with my dad.  So to summarize:  If you want to be a good mother, just give your child everything that I did not get.

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